Christmas Day

25th December '09

It was horrible waking up without you here christmas morning, just horrible. All you presents lay in your room, untouched, waiting to be opened... so unfair.

Abigail gave us a reason to smile this morning, she was so excited and overwhealmed by all the gifts she had to open, more excited after each opening!!! Behind our smiles tho our hearts were aching, aching for the want of having you here, holding you as your eyes lit up watching abigail getting over excited. Sitting you into you beep beep santa brought, or lying you on yer play mat and watching you play with all the activites it had for you, another gift from santa.

Rudolph was so messy, he left reindeer food all down the stairs, all over the sitting room and lefts the packaging out in the front lawn, abigail was giving out about how messy he'd been, santa ate his cookies, had milk and beer... not a good mixture santa!

Dinner went ok, we went to visit you before dinner, just your dad and I as roads were very slippy. After dinner we went up and opened all you lovey gifts from all your friends and family. We laid them out in your room for all to see, it was heartbreaking seeing all your clothes and toys... never to be used or worn by you, so very unfair!

Our 1st day of many without you in our lives... how was it??? Well right now i just don't know how it was coz i'm numb without you, still in a state of shock, in a little denial and utterly heartbroken...